For many years I've prided myself on my willingness to follow God at the drop of a hat. It was pretty simple when He called me to Danville, which is a mere fifteen minute drive from where I've spent the majority of years. I was no less willing when He called me to Boulder, Colorado, and even accepted the news when He told me to stay instead. However, when He called me to Modesto on a Thursday in the middle of the day, I was less than enthusiastic about answering.
Before you judge, there are a few things you must understand, dear reader. First, I love the Lord. A lot. I've spent the last week wrapped up in Him, and my life, whether in theory or in practice, has always been His. Second, Modesto isn't exactly where I love to spend my weekday afternoons. It takes approximately an hour and a half to get there thanks to a ridiculous amount of ceaseless traffic, and for the time being I don't necessarily receive a warm welcome. Third, Thursdays are a work day. Enough said.
At eleven o'clock this morning when God decided it would be funny to lay on my heart a desire to drive to Modesto, I accused Him of insanity. It seemed silly and beyond reason. Accordingly, I ignored the desire, which lasted me a whopping 10 minutes. I called work and realized that I needed to be there despite being in the midst of a seemingly slower week. I made up my mind to drive to Modesto as soon as I was done, though I still had no idea why I was going. Four hours of antsy work later, I was on my way. Home. Not to Modesto.
I still knew I needed to go, but couldn't rationalize the $20 in gas and hours of time it would take. Ironic, since the only reason I have money at all is because God has crazily blessed me with not one, but two, decently paying jobs. As I melted into the couch I began to understand more of God's nudging to me. Serve. Go serve.
So I did. It involved hopping a fence four different times and a minor contusion to my right elbow. (Don't you love that doctor talk?!) It involved washing machines, picture frames and many, many Clorox wipes. If God had asked my opinion, it would have played out completely differently. I think the person I went to serve might be MORE mad at me than he was before. Whoops.
The good news is that I'm not orating this tale to make myself look good. Rather, it seems to be a perfect example of how God's will frequently does not make sense. Thankfully, that doesn't change the fact that it's His will.
Before I left today, I attempted to call two of my closest friends to make sure I wasn't losing my mind. My life is filled to the brim with stress, so before making decisions that matter, I like to double check my judgement right now, especially when it comes to things of a spiritual nature. Neither of the friends picked up the phone, and then I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I already knew the answer.
I wish I had a conclusion to this tale of my epic fail, but alas, I do not. I know that God's will is working every detail for the best. Perhaps in a few days, weeks or months I will be able to update you on how God used me tonight. Until then, I'll leave you with a passage of Truth I've been grasping to for the last three days.
"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." -Romans 8:26-28
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